Hunt for the infernal beast

I can feel their fear.

It’s giving me goose bumps, making the hairs rise on the back of my neck.

Sit up straight in the saddle, set your shoulders back, that’s right. Don’t ever let them see you doubt yourself, or they’ll falter.

Wait…what was that flitting between the trees – our quarry?

Oh providence tell me it’s the beast and not some trick of the eye! I’ll raise my forearm and tell the others to pause for a moment.

Need to listen…

…twig snapped, there…

…there it is!

It’s huge!

Wait…oh shit…

It’s charging!

I…

…can’t move my arms…

 

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About TheImaginator

35 year old sciolist living in Tokyo. I like swing dancing, Twitter word games, writing, using Stumbleupon.com, reading, and watching movies. I write stuff on my blog occasionally.
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21 Responses to Hunt for the infernal beast

  1. Pingback: Hunt for the infernal beast | Blog of the imaginator | Voice Week HQ

  2. Nice, contrasting his fear and his efforts to hide it. I get a great sense of focus from him – both on their obvious mission and on his underlying mission of leading the group. Nice stream of consciousness that gives me a good look inside his head.

  3. evan72 says:

    Wow, I really like the way you worked with this. Made the power of the speaker seem incomplete–that’s very refreshing to read. Can’t wait to hear what other perspectives come out of this!

  4. I love this reactive thought process. Really sheds a light on how this character thinks

  5. Parul says:

    This was very well rendered. Also there is unique voice in this write up. Great job for day 1. Can’t wait to see what’s there tomorrow!

  6. Always leave ’em wanting more! This is such an intriguing start and a well-written voice. Can’t wait for the next part!

  7. Tara R. says:

    That was a powerful opening, and quite the cliffhanger all in one.

  8. yikici says:

    Very intense scene to start with, you totally draw the reader in, excellent writing, it was like I was there by his side. Brilliantly executed, well done. 🙂

  9. Carrie says:

    Feels a little medieval in time period. We have a group of men, in the woods, hunting…”something”.

  10. elmowrites says:

    A young hunter, unused to leading but determined to prove his worth. I have to wonder what happened to his arms though, and whether the rest of the team will save him. I like how the quarry is uncertain in this piece too.

  11. I like how you bring us into his mind in the thick of the action. His thoughts jump from one to the next which works very well for such a dramatic scene.

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