Phlegm faeries are busiest in late Autumn when the skies are grey and the air’s just about chilly enough to nip at your nose in the early hours of the morning – when folk are still deciding if it’s cold enough that they should wear a scarf, or if the climate’s still too mild yet for winter-wear.
They fly into the mouths of those who are fast asleep in their beds snoring with their mouths open, and enter the lungs to weave their rheumy nest. Flitting about here and there, streamers of goo as clear as snail slime spurt from their glistening wands, forming a web of gunk which soon gets old and turns green.
All this activity tickles the lungs, so when folks wake up they hack and wheeze, cough and sneeze with great vigour, and they spit out or swallow the green gunk that comes out of them so that the tiny fae squatters are obliged to cling on for dear life. Eventually the faeries tire of this however, and can hold on no longer. They’re flung from their hosts at a speed of around 100 miles per hour, and must find new lodgings before Winter ends.
Weaving gunk and goo
Spreading phlegm inside of you
Nesting in your lungs