You ever tried catchin’ n’ rearin’ a snake? I did.
I used to drive by folks’ houses of an afternoon’ an see ‘em stretched out on their porches for all to see, ‘specially in the summer when the days was all surly ‘n hot. Oh sure, people’ll tell you snakes only sun themselves in the mornin’ and hunt at night, but I done seen plenty of ‘em sunnin’ themselves out on the porch of an afternoon too; maybe just gettin’ up the wherewithal to git up and go explorin’, as snakes are apt to do.
So what I do? I went by and I picked up them snakes; seems nobody else had a use for ‘em. Hell, I used to just walk right up there, to where they was splayed out all relaxed like, then I’d start whisperin’ to ‘em, to charm them see? Yup, I’d look for the glint in their eye and I’d make my move all subtle like so as not to spook ‘em; snakes get anxious real easy, know what I mean? An if snakes gets nervous, they’d as soon bite you as give you the time ‘o day.
That said, I’m damned good at charmin’ snakes; have me a whole mess of ‘em, down at my place. At night I let out a chosen few, let them roam about the place. The customers really like it when my gals are slitherin’ and writhin’ all over the bar, all over the stage, all over their laps and their shoulders. They pay good money to drink a cold one after a hard day and to see my beauties, let them drape theirselves all over, all friendly like.
I take care of my snakes too, nothin’s too good for ‘em; they gets good food, gets their toys, gets their sun lamps, gets plenty of space to roam around, and they gets plenty of time with their daddy.
Course, one of them bitches gets too uppity, I’ll flense her ass but good.