Creep

The church hall was empty as he carried her over the threshold.

He sat her down on one of the chairs, then arranged another chair beside it and laid her across the two.  As an afterthought, he crossed her legs to protect her modesty.

Stepping back to survey his handiwork, he thought back on what had happened that night.  It had all gone so well!

This really was the best place to leave her, she would be fine here.  After all, the best place to hide a body was in plain sight.

Somebody would find her, maybe the priest would approach her first, and then the chase would be on.  He would need to move to another town again, as far away from this one as possible.

Rousing himself out of his reverie, he gathered his wits about him, walked out of the hall and into the night.

Creep – full version

The church hall was empty as he carried her over the threshold.

He sat her down on one of the chairs, then arranged another chair beside it and laid her across the two.  As an afterthought, he crossed her legs to protect her modesty.

Stepping back to survey his handiwork, he thought back on what had happened that night.  It had all gone so well!

He’d gone to the same bar he’d been going to for weeks, ever since he first saw her there.  Each week, he only stayed for a couple of drinks, just long enough for him to study her a bit and listen in on some of her conversations from a safe distance.

Tonight he’d approached her while her friend went to the toilet, picking up on the thread of the conversation they’d just had.  Since he knew something of what she liked and had prepared some stories for when he said “oh really?  Me too!”, they really got on; he was a dab hand at this, a real charmer.

She’d invited him to accompany them both to a club, and he’d bought her a drink.  One thing led to another, and…this really was the best place to leave her though, she would be fine here.

After all, the best place to hide a body was in plain sight.

Somebody would find her, maybe the priest would approach her first, and then the chase would be on.  He would need to move to another town again, as far away from this one as possible.

Rousing himself out of his reverie, he gathered his wits about him, walked out of the hall and into the night.

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About TheImaginator

35 year old sciolist living in Tokyo. I like swing dancing, Twitter word games, writing, using Stumbleupon.com, reading, and watching movies. I write stuff on my blog occasionally.
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10 Responses to Creep

  1. barbtaub says:

    The title is brilliant — really sets up for the piece.

  2. Euan says:

    Very clever idea, and even funny in a dark, dark way. A good take.

  3. The opening line becomes heavier and more sardonic, the deeper you read into the piece. Brilliantly twisted. And sobering….

  4. I admit I clicked on the link to read your story because of your moniker, ‘The Imaginator’. I stayed to read your story because of the title, ‘Creep’. I’m leaving a comment because your story was very well told, very. The pace suits the grimness and as Angela says, the first line changes in tone the more you get into the story.

  5. ladyhawk87 says:

    It is suddenly creepy out for here for sure!…well written 🙂

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