Breaking news – Aliens have landed
Aliens landed at 13:16 GMT (08:16 EST) today in what some are calling the biggest thing to hit the Earth since a giant meteorite wiped out the dinosaurs. Asked for comment, Stephen Hawking said “oh shit”.
In the cold afternoon sunshine, the citizens of London, UK looked up at the sky in awe at the gigantic shiny metallic blobs that were slowly descending over the city. Tourists and citizens alike stopped to take pictures on phones and cameras and upload them to their favourite social media sites. After a while, the weird interstellar vessels appeared to stop descending and merely hover. A wave of what scientists called electro-magnetic radiation rippled through the air, knocking out all mobile phones and unshielded computing devices; our dedicated journalists have nevertheless managed to provide us with this picture: –
Smaller blobs floated out from the skin of the craft as if floating out of liquid metal, no portals were visible from which they could exit their parent machines. The shuttles landed in squares, parks and green spaces around the city, with one parked onto the green outside the Houses of Parliament.
As policemen sprang into action, seeking to evict the illegal aliens from Parliament Square (a controlled area), and traffic wardens ran to the vehicles to slap parking tickets on them, it quickly became apparent that those present were woefully unprepared, despite the detailed guidance on these circumstances offered by firstname.lastname@example.org and found by io9.com’s Meredith Woerner on 3GN Media a few years ago: –
Scientists around the world have been taken from their labs to secret bunkers along with the world’s military leaders and politicians, while many people have taken to welcoming the aliens by having impromptu open air parties and festivals, causing no end of consternation and headaches for police and security forces who just wanted everybody to go back home and leave the aliens alone.
- Aliens invade Antarctica (tothelandsbeyond.wordpress.com)
- Meteors Hit Russia! Alien Apocalypse to Begin Shortly! (dreadcentral.com)
- The Science of Aliens Part One (reshapingreality.wordpress.com)